Mental Decluttering

This blog was originally supposed to post on Feb. 9.

            This month is all about decluttering.  I'm still working on the mental decluttering so don't come over because the house is a mess.

            Last week a very dear friend of mine checked himself into the hospital because he was feeling ill.  In that week in the hospital, his health continued to decline and still no diagnosis.  He was airlifted to the Mayo Clinic on Friday and is now in ICU with kidney and liver malfunction, pain, low platelets, enlarged spleen, and much more.  Last night he was finally diagnosed with an aggressive form of lymphoma.

             This has been on my mind a lot.  While trying to be a parent, edit my manuscript, take kids on field trips, cook dinner - it keeps popping into my mind.  What if? What if?  And worst of all, why can't I help him?  Why can't the doctor's help him?

            I've seen too many close friends and family - including my own father - battle cancer.  I don't want to see it again.  I'm tired.  I'm tired emotionally and physically and it's hard for sleep to come because I wake up and there IT is - on my mind again.

            The church called for a prayer service on Monday night.  Nearly 200 people showed up and we all prayed for Bill.  When I left there, I felt some peace.

            What I managed to finally realize is that God is God - the great I AM - and He is in charge.  He knows exactly what is wrong with Bill, and He heard the pleas from us, His people, to save Bill.  But ultimately, we are helpless in this situation.  God is God and will do what He thinks is best.        

            I have declared my feelings to God - I have gone before the High King, as his daughter, with my request that He heal Bill.  So have countless others, and God promised us if we pray together, He will be in our midst.

            God was there Monday night.  God heard our prayers.  By putting it into God's hands, I now realize that either way, God will have the victory.  Neither death nor the enemy can get their hands on Bill's soul - that belongs to God. 

            I may not like the outcome, I still have the "what-ifs" and the fear and the feeling of helplessness.   But the victory is God's.  Either way - whether God chooses to let Bill live, or bring him home to Heaven, the victory is God's.   It is His choice.

            I have trusted Him in so much else.  If I trust Him in this, peace comes in.  My mind clears out for a while and I can focus on other things. 

            Package some of your fears up and give them to God. Mentally declutter. He'll take them and do what's best. Sometimes, that's all we can do - just give it up to God. 

I will try to post a follow-up on Bill on my website.  Once you reach the home page, click on The Columns.